Fake it ’til you redline it.

We’ve all been there.

You’re flipping burgers, sipping a soda, when someone drops the classic, “You see that guy’s WRX over there?” Suddenly, everyone’s talking turbos, gear ratios, and double-wishbone suspension like it’s common knowledge. And you? You were just here for the hot dogs.

Fear not. Whether you’re trying to impress friends, avoid embarrassment, or just survive your cousin’s “built-not-bought” speech — here’s your ultimate guide to faking car knowledge at a BBQ like an absolute legend.

Step 1: Learn These Magic Phrases

Drop them with confidence. No one will question you.

• “Man, that thing must pull hard in second.”
• “Honestly, I’d delete the resonator and call it a day.”
• “The gearing feels a bit short, but it works.”
• “It’s all about power-to-weight, bro.”

Bonus tip: Always say “bro” when nodding in approval. Adds +5 credibility.

Step 2: Know What NOT to Say

Nothing outs you faster than the wrong lingo.

❌ “Wow, nice car. Is it electric?” (About a Mustang GT.)

❌ “My Civic gets great mileage.”

❌ “You should see my Corolla — it’s got seat warmers.”

Stick to vague but aggressive admiration:

✔ “Clean setup. Looks dialed.”

✔ “Bet that corners like it’s on rails.”

Step 3: Compliment the Wheels

If you don’t know the make or model, just talk about the wheels.

• “Those are TE37s, right?” (Say this about any matte black rims. Works 70% of the time.)
• “That fitment’s tight.”
• “You running spacers or straight flush?”

Throw in a squat to examine the tire like you’re checking PSI. Don’t actually do anything — just squat and nod.

Step 4: Mention Weight Reduction (Always)

Regardless of the car, just say:

“I’d rip out the back seats and shed some weight.”

It’s the universal language of fake car performance wisdom.

Even if it’s a 7-seater family SUV, say it like you mean it. They’ll assume you’re a secret track day weapon.

Step 5: Talk Like You Just Sold Something Faster

The ultimate flex: sounding unimpressed.

“Oh, this is clean, but I just sold my E36 project. Miss it already.”

Nobody will ask for proof. And E36s are always safe to name-drop.

Other safe fake car flexes:

• “I used to have a turbo’d Miata — real sleeper.”
• “Had a 240SX but drift tax is wild now.”

Step 6: Know One Actual Thing

This is your Hail Mary: memorize a real fact.

Here’s a free one:

“You know, the Mazda RX-8 had a rotary engine with no pistons.”

Say that, and you’re a BBQ automotive scholar. Bonus points if you add:

“Flooding was a nightmare though.”

Final Tip: Walk Away Before the Deep Questions Start

Know when to bow out.

If someone starts saying “I tuned it myself with Hondata,” smile, nod, then excuse yourself to go “check on the grill.” No one questions the Grill Master.

Summary:

You don’t need to be a mechanic. You don’t even need to know the engine size.

You just need confidence, a few stock phrases, and a good squat.

So next time you’re at a BBQ and someone pops the hood, step up.

Nod slowly. Squint like you’re inspecting torque curves.

And say the magic words:

“Clean build. Bet it rips.”

Then go grab another burger — you earned it.