“Bro, can I take it around the block?”

No. No, you cannot.

There are few things in this world scarier than letting someone else drive your car—especially if that car is modified, lowered, boosted, clapped-out, or has a steering wheel with questionable alignment but soul. Your car isn’t just transportation. It’s you—but with worse fuel economy and way more personality.

And when you do hand over the keys, it’s not really generosity. It’s a controlled panic attack.

The Pre-Drive Lecture

“Okay listen—

She pulls a little to the right. The clutch is weird. Don’t go over 3,000 RPM. Don’t shift into second too hard or the whole gearbox might ghost us. And whatever you do, don’t hit the brakes hard. It squeals. Like very loud. Like court-summons loud.”

This is always followed by a dramatic pause.

“…also the left mirror doesn’t adjust anymore and the Bluetooth only works if your phone is from 2014.”

The Silent Passenger Mode

Once they’re behind the wheel, you enter passenger-seat meditation. You’re watching every move. Every gear change. Every pothole they almost hit.

Inside you’re screaming:

“WHY are you riding the clutch??”

“That was a speed bump, not a launch ramp!!”

“Shift! SHIIIIFT!!”

But on the outside, you just nod.

“Yeah, nah she’s smooth, right?”

The One-Wheel Curb-Touch That Lives Forever

They say it was “just a light tap.”

You say you felt that in your spine.

You didn’t spend three hours polishing those wheels just to watch them get acquainted with a sidewalk.

You blacked out for a second. You’re not sure if it was from rage or grief. Either way, that rim will never be the same. And neither will you.

Trust Issues? No. Trauma.

It’s not about trust. It’s about emotional insurance. Because when someone else drives your car, and something goes wrong, they’ll say:

“It was already like that.”

Wrong.

You know every rattle, creak, and vibration like the back of your grease-stained hand. It was not like that.

The Aftermath

You get the car back, check everything like it just came out of a wind tunnel test:

• Wheels? Still round?
• Tires? Still inflated?
• Radio settings? Still yours?

You sit in the driver’s seat and just breathe for a moment.

Then whisper to the steering wheel:

“I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Final Thoughts

“Be careful” doesn’t mean “drive safe.”

It means:

“If you redline it, curb it, stall it, or even breathe funny near it—I will write a diss track, drop it on SoundCloud, and dedicate it to you.”

So no, you probably can’t take it around the block.

But thanks for asking.