Let’s be honest. Being a “car guy” is 50% talking, 30% browsing Facebook Marketplace at 2 a.m., 15% Googling “why is my car leaking,” and maybe 5% actually working on cars.
Here are 15 classic things car guys love to say… but never actually follow through on. If you feel personally attacked, congratulations — you’re one of us.
1. **“I’m gonna turbo it.”
No you’re not.**
You’ve been saying that since high school. The only boost in your life is your caffeine addiction.
2. **“I’ll do it properly next time.”
There is no next time.**
That zip tie solution has now celebrated its 3rd birthday.
3. **“I’m just keeping it stock… for now.”
Stock? You already took off the muffler.**
Next thing you know, you’re deep in a group buy for coilovers “just to see how it looks.”
4. **“I could’ve bought a BMW, but I wanted to be smart with my money.”
Your project car is held together by debt and delusion.**
And that “smart” move now leaks oil and coolant.
5. **“I’m gonna track it next season.”
Which season? Summer 2045?**
Your car hasn’t seen a track. It barely sees pavement.
6. **“It’s not a project, it’s just got a few small issues.”
Like needing an engine, a transmission, and a miracle.**
But hey — “clean title.”
7. **“Just needs a tune.”
Ah yes, the magic phrase that fixes everything.**
It doesn’t idle, it misfires, and it sounds like a blender full of bolts — but “just needs a tune.”
8. **“I’m gonna start a YouTube channel for my build.”
You filmed one clip and forgot your login.**
The only thing you uploaded was your regret.
9. **“I’m not spending any more money on this car.”
That was a lie and you knew it.**
You said that while your cart had $300 worth of parts you “absolutely need.”
10. **“I’ll daily it until the build is done.”
You’ve been “dailying” it on three cylinders and hope.**
At this point, even your Uber driver is concerned.
11. **“I’ll paint it myself and save money.”
Have fun with your drippy, orange peel masterpiece.**
Your car now looks like it got spray-painted by a sleep-deprived raccoon.
12. **“I’m flipping this car for profit.”
You are not.**
You bought high, sold low, and now you’re emotionally bankrupt too.
13. **“I’m going to learn how to weld.”
You watched 1 YouTube video and burned a hole in your sock.**
Now your “welds” look like bird poop and your neighbors are filing complaints.
14. **“I don’t need another project car.”
You said that. Then bought another project car.**
You clearly do need one. It’s the only thing holding your personality together.
15. **“Next weekend I’ll fix it.”
Next weekend never comes.**
It’s been six months. The car is now part of the lawn.
Final Thoughts
Car culture isn’t just about horsepower and lap times — it’s also about talking a lot and doing just enough to stay barely functional.
If you’ve said at least five of these things, congrats — you’re officially certified to give unsolicited car advice at every BBQ from now on.
Liked this post? Share it with your fellow car friends who still think they’re going to “swap it this winter.”
And don’t forget to check out more questionable car wisdom right here on Chenaraa.com.
